Yesterday was the first time I weighed myself in some time. I stood behind a lady on the scale who was in dire need of eating several sammiches, and was thinking to myself that I just came from McDonald’s. To each their own for sure. Continue reading
Category Archives: Body Image
Back in the gym on Monday
Sick, sick, sick
It’s been two weeks and six days since the NGA Mt. Rogers bodybuilding show, and I have worked out two whole times since. I can say I haven’t been this sick in several years; not including diet induced illnesses. As a matter of fact, I haven’t been this sick since our first winter in Chicago.
Got dressed up in these beauties only to cough and pee myself; had to change.
My fever reached a surprising high of 102* and I ached all over. The morning after I had my fever I woke with a fever blister that nearly covered half of my bottom lip. Between my busted lip, pale skin, aching IT band, peeing on myself while coughing (yeah, it happens), and everything else; I looked like I was beat with the ugly stick. I was moving like a snail, and unfortunately, I wasn’t the only sick one. Everyone has been super sick, but we’re nearly back to normal.
Back in the gym on Monday
Hopefully, I’ll head back to the gym on Monday. I’m feeling lazy and…sedentary? Were you expecting fat?;) No, not fat. I love working out, and although there are days I don’t want to go to the gym, I still love it. Working out is for my mental well-being, and not just my pant size.
Shopping for posing suits
I’ve also spent the last few days looking at bodybuilding posing suits, and found several I love. I’ve been going back and forth with the idea of competing for 2012, and although I’m sure I’ll compete in the end, I have a nagging feeling about it.
We shall see…I will keep looking for a posing suit though. That’s the best part of competing.
Rebound: Oh the debauchery
On the rebound
I am on the rebound. No, I’m not getting a divorce. I’m on a food rebound. After a bodybuilding show every competitor goes through a rebound. Although some of the pro’s swear they always stay in great shape all year; that’s not necessarily true. Many are closet eaters, but that’s between them and the closet.
For me, it takes several months to get my nutrition back on track. It’ s not that I eat all day, but I eat a few big meals and sometimes the meals are just “shitt-ake mushrooms.” Yes, that’ s the phrase I use when I’m about to slip the sh– bomb in front of the kids. It’s the rebound. Brown rice is not enticing now, although I am having it for dinner tonight. 
Danish and iced coffee
It’s common to see a first time bodybuilder gain up to 30 lbs. in the first week after a show. Much of it is dangerous water retention, but it’s hard to turn off the food switch immediately after a bodybuilding show. It’s the mental part of bodybuilding. Many bodybuilding athletes go through it and everyone deals with it differently. This is why I never recommend competing to anyone who has had an eating disorder. It can cause a serious relapse for some.
10 lb. weight gain
Anyhow, I’ve gained 10 lbs. in the last nine days. I had two Danishes for breakfast this morning with a cup of iced coffee. It was fabulous.
I trained back today, and I even did cardio. Although I’m trying to build muscle I’m keeping my cardio program for a while. I’ve said that I am going to try something new this year, and I’ve taken the steps. I applied to be on the game show Wipeout. Yes, the crazy obstacle course race. Who knows if I’ll get on there, but my dad and my friend Amanda are applying with me. I’d love to get on the show with either one of them.
Obstacle course races
I’m also doing research on the Warrior Dash and the Spartan Race. The Warrior Dash has a race in Virginia in September which gives me ample time to train. As for competing; that’s still up in the air.
Anyhow, if you’re reading this dad, do you want to do the Warrior Dash with me? Let’s break in your 60′s with an ass kicking obstacle course. Who needs a birthday party when we have the Warrior Dash?
Back day:
- Wide grip lat pulls downs 85 lb. x 12 x 1, 100 x 10 x 1,
- Seated cable row 70 lb. x 12 x 1, 85 x 10 x 3
- Dumbbell rows 30 lb. x 12 x 3, 35 x 10 x 1
- Pull downs 40 lb. x 15
- Close grip pull downs without seat 85 lb. x 12, 100 x 10 x 3
- Cable low rows no seat 55 lb. x 10x 10
- Oblique twists
Back from my momentary lapse of sanity
Whew-hoo, I had a momentary lapse of sanity in yesterday’s blog post. I was being a blubbering baby. After getting the pictures, I was unsure of myself on stage, because of my leanness, or lack there of. Then I stepped away from it for a couple of hours, talked to Josh and went through the pictures again. Here are my thoughts:
No, I’m not quitting
Walking into the T-walk.
No, I’m not going to stop competing because I enjoy it. Everyone knows how much I dislike the diet, but I love the posing and presentation. There is something very comforting about the stage to me, and it’s a second home when standing under the lights. I also realized I enjoy the natural bodybuilding organizations because of the T-walk. This is one extra minute of self-expression that you don’t get in some of the other bodybuilding organizations.
Natural Bodybuilding, NPC and WBFF
But, the photos did not lie. They revealed what the natural organizations are looking for, and I’m not sure if I fit the bill. Guess what? It’s all good. There’s no reason I can’t do the natural organizations, NPC or the WBFF. I’ll just have to give them all a try.
New Training Program
I have, however, taken Josh up on the offer to train with him. We started yesterday and he’s changed the program to bring me in a bit tighter and more conditioned, but not to lose size. He thinks my size is great, and the goal is to get the water right. The water part is difficult still, but when it comes to sculpting a body he’s excellent at what he does, so I’m going to take advantage of his knowledge.
Cardio here I come
I did increase cardio, but am not changing my food intake. I don’t want to look emaciated, which is something often seen on natural stages. My cardio increased to fifty minutes in the morning, and an extra twenty in the evening if I can fit it in. One hour, ten minutes and not a minute more. It is a lot, but nothing compared to some competitors who do two or three hours a day. This is only for another two and a half weeks, and I can handle that.
Posing suit made by my sponsor Vandella Costumes. Thank you for the beautiful suit Kira!
OCB Charm City Classic photos arrived
It’s exactly three weeks from the NGA Mt. Rogers bodybuilding competition, and I know I have to come in leaner. In the next few weeks I could easily lose weight, and look more like what the natural circuits are looking for. BUT, I spent the winter, spring and part of summer putting on size because that was recommended. I dont’ want to be bigger, but I like my look at this point. I look athletic and healthy, and I’m not sure if…
Top five line up
STOP THE PRESS!!!
I was in the middle of writing this post when my photos arrived in the mail.
Placing in the top five
I can’t believe I placed as well as I did. Yes, that’s right. I should not have placed as well as I did. I was not lean enough. Although my waist is smaller than last year, it’s still wide as a damn shoe box from the front mandatory pose.
Some of the pics look great, while others are not flattering, and it’s definitely not due to the photographer.
My presentation is on point though, and it’s obvious from the photos in my T-walk. Even though my posing was not the OCB figure style, I can honestly say if it wasn’t for my posing and presentation I certainly would not have placed in the top five.
Torn
I am torn after seeing the pictures. There are some things I’m not willing to do such as drugs, over-diet and over-cardio, which makes me wonder if competing is really for me? I will do my very best for the Mt. Rogers bodybuilding show, and regroup after this season.
Perhaps, I’m just over analyzing.
***By the way, I am not implying in any way the girls in this show were on AAS or other drugs. It’s just a common subject that comes up in bodybuilding.
Posing suit made by my sponsor Vandella Costumes. Thank you for the beautiful suit Kira!
From my soap box, pulpit and milk crate
Recently I have been approached by men and women about my build. There was nothing negative in their approaches, but there were similarities in each conversation. Each, in their own way of course, said they liked being fit, but were not as intense as I. They also said they do not have “real” fitness programs, but exercise as much as possible with their schedules. A few even compared their builds to mine…Once again, it was nothing negative towards me, but some comments were degrading to themselves. Why, I wonder?
This is not even related to this post, but I bought these pants in mid June.
Let me stand on my soap box, pulpit and milk crate for a moment
Yes, I am lean and pretty darn fit, but that’s because I train and diet to be that way. There’s no reason to be as fit or lean as a bodybuilding competitor unless you want to be, or are a bodybuilding competitor. What people don’t realize is there’s a huge difference with staying fit and being bodybuilding fit.
In my case, I don’t look like this year around because it’s too hard. Yes, it’s too hard, but the choice to compete is mine and not because it is expected. I also compete because it is good for business, I love the posing and because I can.
But to degrade your build because you compare it to bodybuilding athlete is not a fair standard. It’s not fair because non-competitors do not usually understand the amount of work and preparation needed for a bodybuilding show. Plus, the comparison is against a small percentage of people; a very small percentage.
Let’s talk numbers.
In the 2011 Olympia there was a total of 29 figure athletes in the figure division. The Olympia is the head cheerleader of bodybuilding events, and it only had 29 figure athletes in its line-up. Sure, there may have been others invited who did not take part, but that’s 29 competitors out of the entire world. Not the US, but the world. Since we’re on the cusp of having seven billion people in the world, 29 figure athletes are nothing.
Check out a bodybuilding show near you
If you’ve never been to a bodybuilding show, there’s one truth to each show. At every show you’ll see the same athletes. There are some new faces, but it’s usually the same athletes, the same promoters and the same crowd.
Once again, that is 150 athletes, if that many, in a world of nearly seven billion people. Even if there is a show in each state, on the same weekend, with 150 competitors, that’s only 7500 people out of seven billion…Do you see what I mean by the unfair comparisons now?
Just be yourself
The mainstream media portrays people as super-fit, muscular or super skinny, and sets a precedence to meet a certain look. A look that’s been created after several hours of airbrushing, and the help of an awesome makeup artist. As for bodybuilding, it’s eight to 24 weeks of hard dieting, years of weight training and Pro Tan so heavy you could scrape it off with a spoon.
With all this rambling, what I’m getting to is just be yourself. Yes, it’s a cliché, but there’s no better way to be, and I truly mean that. I’m not telling you to stop exercising or bettering yourself, but to give yourself credit for the hard work and time you put in. Don’t just give yourself credit, but take the credit and be proud of every accomplishment you’ve made.
Okay…I’m off my soapbox, pulpit and milk crate.
Like this:
Just a little self doubt
I took a day off
Even though I’m two weeks out from the bodybuilding show, I took the day off. I did cardio, and collected myself for the day ahead. Normally, I would push myself and squeeze in a workout, with a second cardio session in the evening. Instead, fitting in one more workout was not really worth the stress. My bodybuilding friends would never do this, but stress has never helped anyone.
Chinese cabbage and red cabbage.
Anyhow, I spent the afternoon visiting a special friend of mine in Maryland. The country side was beautiful, and considering the circumstances, it was charming. Without getting into too much detail, my visit was very nice. I was also exhausted by the time I got home and was grateful for missing a workout.
Back to back training
As for today, I trained my back pretty hard. I increased the rep count on the exercises to 15. Next week, the rep count will be 20. During peak weak, the splits change and the rep count increases to 25 to cut all of my glycogen stores before carbohydrate loading. I do change the technique at each bodybuilding show, just as I’m going to do for this bodybuilding show.
Just a little self doubt
There is something else, also. Suddenly I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel lean enough, and I changed the actual way I walk on stage. It’s late to change a walk or pose, but I realized some adjustments must be made for cleaner transitioning. I am very particular about posing (ask anyone).
I had a feeling I would feel this way about being lean since I am bigger than last year. I have more muscle, so there is no way to look the same.
Vicious menstrual cycle and bloat
I’m also bloated from my menstrual cycle. Actually, this will be my last menstrual cycle until December because I’m about to enter amenorrhea. How do I know? Because this menstrual cycle has been vicious. I haven’t felt up to par for days, and was even feverish for the first two days. This is common for some, but it’s not usually one of my symptoms.
I am also bloated from the cruciferous vegetables in my diet. Cauliflower, broccoli, chinese cabbage, red cabbage and brussels sprouts are eaten all day long and it’s hell on my digestive tract.
Other than a little self doubt and bloat, all is well.
Fat or skinny: Is it in the demographics?
Today is the first day of October and it’s rainy. It’s dreary, but nowhere near as cold as the Chi. By now, the morning temps are frigid in Chicago, and the first snow will fall right after Thanksgiving. I will not miss that.
October 11, 2009 Chunky and I at the Fall festival.
While in Chicago there was something I noticed about my physique that I never noticed before. I was really pudgy, or fat as the doctor would say. For some reason I never really carried so much weight and I concluded it was age, hormones and so on, but I never thought to put the demographic theory into play.
This morning, while on the chariot, it dawned on me that the demographic theory applied to me. There are some fitness gurus who believe your demographics play a big part of how much fat you carry. They also believe that dark-skinned, dark-eyed people are naturally leaner. The reason in layman’s terms: because they’re from hot climates which leads to higher outdoor activities, difference in foods, less depression and so on.
So I thought about it.
For months I sat in a small apartment with my kids and baked; all winter long. Unfortunately, winter in Chicago is very long and that’s a lot of cake. Although I lived in Japan and England, where winters are cold, there is nothing like the Windy City. I’m sure the Antarctic is a great place during the winter, but I’d prefer not to find out.
Besides the amount of unusual eating, I was so inactive from October to May because I, nor my kids, wanted to be in the cold. There were many days that I could not go to the gym because of the weather, or because we all had some sort of cold, as well. I may have even suffered from seasonal depression because of the gray, dreary days. I was not diagnosed with that, it’s an assumption.
I spent 15 years of my life in the Southern states before moving to Chicago, and now that I’m back in Virginia, it may just make a difference. Of course, not baking would help also!
***This photo was taken 10/11/2009. We all wore down vests or down jackets, scarves and double layers underneath. We still had to leave early because of the cold.
Who said growing old gracefully is stylish?
The other day I had a full-fledge conversation about finding a wiry, gray hair with my dad. I told him that I found three of them when I turned…ahem…years ago, and that I haven’t seen any since. My dad, who is ridiculously funny and honest says, “You better keep looking. You’ve
Yes, I spent a full thirty minutes searching for gray hairs!
got more, you just haven’t seen them.”
Okay, sure thing buckaroo…
After I showered today, I did something I only do for rare occasions. I blow dried my hair. The reasons why I don’t do it more? First, I have an enormous amount of hair. Even when it is short, it’s very thick and healthy, but takes forever to dry. To be frank, I love my hair. I loved it when it was curly, when it was straight, and still love it now that it is wavy. I have been blessed with these locks. Sorry, I’ll move on.
Second, I’m obviously a gym rat. I own workout clothes, and jam-jammies. I do own a full line of Ann Taylor office attire, but that is from back in the day. My real life away from bodybuilding competitions is spent taking care of my kids, husband and the house. Because the gym is my biggest destination besides picking up my daughter from school, I don’t do anything with my hair. I pull it back in a pony-tail or a bun, and that’s it.
Okay, so I’m getting to the point. As you’ve probably figured, I outed several gray hairs in my tresses this morning. 10 to be exact. Wiry, long, pubescent hairs that made me laugh. No, I did not weep, but laughed at the conversation I had with my dad. Yes dad, you were right.
The older I get, the more I say, “Yes dad, you were right.” But don’t worry dad, I will not grow old gracefully. No, I don’t plan to get a facelift, but there is nothing wrong with a little TLC and Miss Clairol.
E-mail answers: Know your body
Things I know about my body:
- when my menstrual cycle begins
- 4 lb. water weight gain just before my cycle
- chocolate cravings for two days before I begin my cycle
- my last menstrual cycle before amenorrhea is the longest, heaviest of the year
- Cheat meals cause 3 lb. water weight gain by the next day
- Gluten causes my belly to bloat
- Constipation is a given, only going once every three days
- One cup of coffee is fine, two makes me jittery
- Right elbow will ache before the bodybuilding show is over
- Left knee will ache before the show is over
- Sprints cause pain for at least one week
- 20 minutes into cardio I begin to sweat
- One skipped meal leads to gorging
- Late night eating gives me nightmares
- Zyflamend with holy basil gives me the burps
Get to know yourself
Anyhow, there are a million other things I can add to the list, but that’s not my point. Recently, I received several e-mails from different figure athletes who have difficulty finding their zone with their bodies, diet, exercise and cardio. This is no surprise, especially for a first timer. Who really knows
During contest prep, how much water weight would you gain if you ate this for a cheat meal?
how their body will react to the change in diet and exercise?
Overtime, I learned how in-tune a competitor, or anyone for that matter, should be with their body. I have always been strangely in-tune with my body, but there are many women who are not. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it can make things a little more difficult when recreating your body image.
Get rid of the shock value
Know your body’s reactions to ease the shock value. It’s the surprise of gaining 4 lb. in one weekend that upsets most people, so get the upper hand and limit it. If you already know these things will happen to your body, then you can easily move on. Or, you can change your actions so you are not surprised by the reactions.
Although you don’t need to analyze everything you do, take note of the little changes that occur. For example, if you know you’re going to gain weight from a cheat meal, then you won’t be surprised when you’re heavier or bloated the next day.
Write it down in a calendar
Although most will not do it, write these things down for a couple of months. Use a calendar instead of a regular journal. You can see an entire month at one time. Over time, you’ll learn some things about yourself that you did not know before. In time, this can make your everyday life, and contest prep easier.
